Tick tock. Tick tock.

My mind is racing. Its “track star sprinting” at a pace that makes me feel like a biker that has lost control of his two pedals. My feet have slipped from security and are dangling, aimlessly exposed to the rush of wind that pushes my legs in every direction. I can’t seem to make them stop. If only I could get some control over myself…over my mind before I crash.

That’s what my brain feels like.

Or maybe a better analogy would be like a computer with a thousand open tabs, eager to be closed, yet instead multiplying, slowing my system down to a snail’s pace. I am crashing! I am stuck and there is no turning back. I can’t go forward. I can’t go backward. My only choice is to shut down, be still, and hope that all my hard work wasn’t in vain, because I was doing THEE MOST!

Tick tock. Tick tock.

My stomach feels queasy and my head is pounding. Sleep has no place where my overly active mind dwells. I close my eyes to rest and little voices haunt me.

What?!

How?!

When?!

Where?!

Leave me alone! I just want peace and a moment to myself. A moment completely free from the woes and worries of the world. I want to get away and go wherever there is complete SILENCE! A place where time is always on my side and plentiful.

Tick tock. Tick tock.

I am standing on the edge. One false move and I’ll lose myself. But I can’t let go, I just can’t. There are too many priorities that require that I hold on, stay strong, and be a solid foundation for everyone else.

Can someone please help me?!

This medicine makes me feel, or should I say not feel. As I open the bottle top, I constantly question how I got to this place. Who did this to me? What did this to me?

I haven’t felt like myself for a while now and I just want to reverse time…

…back to when I was never haunted, conflicted, and tormented by this thing called ANXIETY.

I am sending prayers to all my sisters that live with anxiety. Know that you are not alone. Know that you are loved. And know that everything is going to be okay.