I’m the baby of the family and let everyone tell it, I am the most spoiled. I won’t ever admit it openly to them, but I do agree. However, I am spoiled with love. Having 6 older sisters and brothers has created a solid village and helped maintain a pretty clear sign to others outside my family not to mess with me.
“She has a big family and they are CLOSE close!! You may not want to mess with her,” they’d say.

I have one sister that is four years older than me, just barely making us able to have shared the same schools for most of our lives. We always had a love hate relationship, and let her tell it, she didn’t really begin to like me until she went off to college. (Yikes!) I was a brat, to say the least, and enjoyed bothering her as a typical baby sister would. I’d eat Funyons and blow my unpleasant smelling breath in her company’s face. I’d play with her toys when she wasn’t looking. I even read her journal, if I came across it (she didn’t know that part! lol).

But one thing is for sure, we are family and no matter how much of a pest I was to her, she never let anyone mess with me. None of them did! Charge it to the unspoken, yet common rule when it comes to family. I can do and say whatever I want to my family, however, YOU (those who aren’t in my family) cannot. She was and will always be my bodyguard, my protector, and if someone did me wrong, she would always take my side. Family over everything, right?
I am grateful and blessed to have had that kind of support for most of my life, however, it did call for a character shift as I became an adult. You see, in life, I can’t always run to family to defend my actions or even fight my battles. Especially, when it’s not their battles to fight.

A significant part of that shift came with holding myself accountable for my actions and the role that I play in every situation. As a kid would often do, running to “tell” without any thought of my part in the problem, doesn’t solve the situation. In fact, it serves as a band-aid, masking the real issue with expectation to simply patch over the problem by obtaining validation from someone else to take my side.

It’s like saying, “Please co-sign my foolishness so I won’t look bad.” Don’t get me wrong, there may be cases where having the support of family and friends in order to overcome situations are needed. However, before doing so, one must self-reflect and be transparent. Am I in the wrong? What part did I play in all of this? How can I resolve this issue on my own without having to get other’s involved?

Rule of thumb: Don’t play the victim to circumstances that you created.