“Why does my body ignore what my mind says? I try to keep it in tact but I’m here in this bed.” One of the million reasons why I am totally obsessed with Jill Scott, also known as “Jilly from Philly,” is because she is so darn unapologetic about her sexuality, her body, and the way that she feels. The transparency in her songs speaks to every woman regardless of age, race, and sexuality. It’s funny to hear her say things that I have always thought about but didn’t have the courage to say out loud.

I grew up in a very religious house hold, with a father that taught men and women every Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday night. We normally wouldn’t have dared exhibit let along speak of anything sexual. As teenagers, we were taught that sex was only for marriage which of course makes young kids grow more curious. I actually found it more common, from my experiences that children that grew up in church were just as promiscuous, if not more than those friends who did not. Maybe because we longed to know the unknown and experience why it was so forbidden.

By the time I successfully made it to college without exploring for myself, I probably heard every reason why I should NOT have sex than a young adult could probably think of.

“It’s not worth it and painful…initially.”
“You will no longer be a Christian because you have sinned.”
“God will not be pleased with you.”
“You would go to hell.”

As a child, granted all of those consequences were extreme, it was still not quite enough for a young adult to really comprehend. If I could go back, I’d tell myself to wait. I know you are thinking “don’t be a hater, you know how it is to be a teenager”- but I honestly would. I would explain to the younger version of myself the concept of soul ties and remind her how important it is to protect that special part of her temple. She would understand that giving herself to someone undeserving may bring consequences. Consequences that can result in heart ache, stress, confusion, pregnancy, or heck – diseases.

She would know that by opening her wound allowing his body to intertwine their souls would invite spirits into her body. And sometimes, it may be spirits that are not the most welcoming. You know…the crazy thing about sex is that even as an adult (a full grown one at that) the struggle is just as real as it was when I was an adolescent teenager. The flesh can steer you so far left, that you stop to wonder when you lost control of the wheel in the first place.

It’s always a cake walk to resist temptation when Jerome who has no chance comes frolicking your way only to find your curve just a swift as your ability to walk away. But it’s something about a man whose entire aura speaks to yours the same way that Darius’ did to Nina in the movie Love Jones. Or maybe it is his stride when he enters your personal space smelling and looking like an edible arrangement. Can I get an amen?!

Talk about going from zero to 100…real quick! But like they always say, everything that looks good to you, isn’t always good for you. And don’t get me wrong, no one is perfect! We were all created human with wants and desires, driven by the heart and flesh, and for that reason sometimes it casts a fog over what we really need.
I’ve recently gotten into the practice, when met at a crossroad to choose between what my emotions are telling me to do and what I know is right to do by asking myself will I desire this a month from now, week, or even tomorrow? Pretty simple right? It’s almost like shopping at a store. I see many things that look appealing, things that smell appealing, things that I think will make me feel good, or things that will make me look good to other people. But sometimes in life, we find that doing things or making these decisions impulsively may actually be the worst thing that we could do to ourselves. Only to look up and find out that what you took a chance on was… ill-fitted, lacked luster, worn by everyone, and many times is simply a temporary fad that you thought would be a permanent staple in your possession. Get my drift?

Now this won’t always be the case, but as you get older you will find that developing good habits such as self-control and self-discipline will reward you by protecting your body, your heart, your peace,…and let’s not forget your wallets too!!!