9:30pm couldn’t come quick enough, as I looked at the time in the right hand corner of my purple laptop that I begrudgingly bought out of necessity a week prior. After 7 years, my 1st laptop that I purchased with my own money (from the Pawn Shop, might I also add) had the audacity to break down on me. Like seriously! I had some good memories with that laptop, however, on the positive side, I never have to worry about pictures with my ex-boyfriend resurfacing again. Out of sight, out of mind. Thank God! Sometimes, it takes the good Lord giving us that extra push needed to truly get over someone, even if it is at the expense of replacing a VERY expensive piece of equipment.
Nonetheless, I figured I could spare another ten minutes of my time for meaningless web surfing. “I couldn’t be THAT much of a granny anyway. I’m still in my twenties, for goodness sake!” I thought to myself.
Hmmmm. Now what do I want to research? As soon as the question entered my mind a horoscope ad popped up, and thanks to the “creeper of the web,” also known as google and the coincidental conversation over the phone about my sign, I was certain how the ad selection came about. “Weirdos,” I purposely said out loud, totally convinced that someone was watching me.
Might as well read what they have to say…
As I skimmed the first paragraph of my horoscope, selectively reading the things that were most appealing to me, I was pleasantly surprised that what I read was quite accurate. In fact, I would go even further to admit I was a legitimate textbook “Capricorn.” Goal Oriented and driven. Loyal and trustworthy. Career minded, and successful exhibiting leadership abilities. How sway?
Not surprised though, considering that at the tender age of 12 or 13 years old I had a journal where I wrote out in detail my goals for the week, month…heck year! I always have been a planning type of gal and found pleasure in checking off each goal. They always say, “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.” So I have lived by that quote knowing that preparation is the key to success.
I thought to myself, “I HAVE accomplished quite a bit. Gold Star for me! My resume and accolades speak volumes as well. Yasssssss. You go, girl!” I said out loud as I closed my laptop with a sense of pride and self-assurance.
As I turned my reading light off next to my bed, I laid my head on the pink plush pillow and began to drift off in to a deep, restful sleep…
When I opened my eyes, to my surprise, I did not look up to see my beige colored ceiling with the glow in the dark stars I bought from Hobby Lobby (Don’t you dare judge me, lol).
“Oh God! What in the Freaky Friday have I gotten myself into?!” Speaking of God, right when I sprang up to gather my bearings, I looked directly in front of me and there stood a MAN. A very handsome, Morris Chestnut, Idris Elba kind of fine man dressed in a white robe. Matter of fact, it was THEE most EXTRA robe I ever did lay my eyes on. I’m talking, his gown put the Met Gala’s attire to SHAME, honey. Shammmeee. As I shook myself from the long gaze at his attire, I realized that I was in a place I had never been before. Heard about, but never seen for myself…until today…wait tonight…oh, you get my drift! (Stay with me…) I was in heaven gosh darn it!
“God, is that you? Am I dead? Wait…how could that be?! I was just…”
“Hush now, you are not dead and I am not God. But I am an angel, and I need to pass along a message to you…” the beautiful Angel Idris Elba look alike replied.
“Well, what is it? Who is the message from? Muh-dear? Aunt Susie? Uncle Lewis? Is everything okay?!” I replied frantically.
“It is from none of them, but it is from someone just as, if not more important than all of them. It’s from God. He’s a bit concerned about your excessive desire to succeed,” He replied.
“Wait, what? Isn’t that what he wants me to do? Shouldn’t he be happy that I am accomplishing all of these grand things in life? I have pretty much stuck by the book my entire life. You know this! I’ve made sure that I have checked off all the boxes. I give back to the poor. I go to church every Sunday. I have successfully advanced in my career and opened up doors for others to do so as well. What is it?!”
“It’s not the things that you are doing, but rather the driving factors that fuel your desire to do it. Lately, you have operated in a very self-absorbed, self-serving space that does not align with the characteristics needed to fulfill the purpose God has over your life. Because frankly, beloved…this life that you live is not about YOU. Never has been actually! You are merely a vessel that God has placed on this earth to spread love and live out the purpose that HE has over your life.”
“God GAVE you this fearlessness that has molded you into an unapologetic, bold, self-determined woman so that you may use it to inspire others daily. He also gave you the means to maintain financial stability so that you can be a role model of what it truly means to be a good steward over your finances and help others along the way. You were placed in a household that instilled in you morals, values, and introduced you to God so that you can compel others to establish a relationship with him also. These blessings that God has allowed you to have and accomplish is actually to position you to serve OTHERS.”
“The things that you have been doing lately are INDEED good, but they are driven from your own selfish desires to simply check off another box, accomplishment, or acquire an additional title to your life’s resume. Which makes me wonder, if none of that served as a residual from your good deeds or relentless drive, would you still do it?”
“Would you still do it if no one patted you on the back, or made a grand announcement acknowledging your wonderful gifts to the world? Is your heart in a place that doesn’t place conditions on doing the right thing?”
I asked you these questions, because in order to live a purpose driven life, your heart truly has to be in the right place. Meaning, there shouldn’t be conditions placed on what you do. You should simply do it because you genuinely want to do good and are passionate and compassionate about the impact that you can have… on yourself, on others, on the world! And if you think collecting materialistic things (i.e. Titles, awards, and accolades) will validate your impact in this world, then well…you will find yourself simply becoming a “hoarder…”
…But that’s not my business to tell. **sips heavenly tea and carries on. #AngelsREADToo