Five stinking hours for a simple silk press and a trim still baffles me till this day. Let history tell it, the barbershop and hair salon (a.k.a. Beauty Shop) is also supposedly a therapy center, information hub for advice, and a one stop shop for any and everything within the latest entertainment news. Little did I know this day would be my LAST time receiving their services, solicited and unsolicited.

“OOO wwweeeeee Chile, THEY at it again. Those fake, wanna-be chicks that STAY checking out somebody else’s man! I’m convinced they don’t ever get tired, and let you slip up and show any signs of “falling off,” they are surely waiting patiently in the wings to scoop yo’ man up,” my stylist remarked as she followed up with a loud cackle to the woman next to her. As I looked over at the ladies, who reminded me of two hens, I rolled my eyes with frustration. Maybe it was the fact that I was 2 ½ hours behind schedule and my stylist didn’t seem the LEAST bit phased. “I should’ve just did this myself. This is a waste of my time, ” I said to myself.

I guess hens also carry the keen ability to “ear hustle” from a mile away because low and behold my stylist turns and yells back to me, “Not with THAT hair you aren’t. And might I add, you have that corporate job having, suit and tie wearing man that can have any woman he wants. You better keep yourself up and do your part or another woman will. You cute and all but you can be replaced just like that sis! And ain’t nothing funny about watching another woman receive the ring that YOU were supposed to have.”

“Excuse me, and what is that supposed to mean? What does my hair have to do with it? And since when did my hair dictate my ability to KEEP my man?” I replied.

“Calm down Chile. I’m just saying that your hair has seen better days and I just think MY special touch to it would be most beneficial for it at the moment. So relax, I’m almost finished anyways,” she remarked as she began washing my hair. *side eye.

“Okay I get it. My hair doesn’t look its best for now but tell me this. Why must us, the GOOD women, be constantly reprimanded for not doing this, or doing that for our man? We are already doing over and BEYOND! Why it is that no one is holding the men accountable for what they should bring to the table as well? I was raised with standards too and all that fluff is not me. He has to come with a ring, because I ain’t no Sandra D. I’m not changing anything! He has to love me for ME.”

“Call it as you may. I respect that you are just more like Doris Day. I admire that because a lot of women aren’t brought up that way,” she replied. “But for every one man, there are quadrupled amount of women and if you are lucky enough to be the percentage that has ONE then you need to do whatever it takes to keep him. Look the part and act the part. A lady in the streets, and a freak in the sheets. Isn’t that what they say?”

“Yea, yea I hear that ALL the time. But at what point are we going to challenge men to look beyond the aesthetics and temporary satisfactions to see the quality of the woman that they already have in front of them. I know that we can’t control what other women are willing to do, but we CAN be selective in the type of men we choose for ourselves. I desire a man that truly loves me, not because of how I look or the things that I can do for him. I genuinely hope that my man appreciates my inner beauty and sees that I AM enough. I can only be me and I refuse to let the pressures of this world tell me who or what I need to be in order to maintain his interest.”

“I see sis. Well keep your heels high and your standards higher young lady. I have faith that your self-assurance and confidence has attracted a man with great substance that has looked beyond the simple mindedness of what you can do for him and is driven to want to identify what he can offer to you. You can have anything that you pursue.”

“I must say it’s one thing I’ve struggled to be, but it’s refreshing to see a young, successful woman that isn’t swayed with a Sandra D Mentality.”