8:00am rolls around oh too quickly and it’s greeted by me running into the revolving doors of my company’s corporate office. It’s almost become a “thing” ya know. At 7:58 a.m., I wave at the handsome, yet married African American guy that works in Accounting. At 7:59 a.m., I turn around to point my power lock button on my keys toward my car for the 10th time because my OCD tendencies won’t let me be great. At 8:00 a.m., I shuffle with my badge to scan in so that I can track star sprint into the building, down the short hall towards my ALWAYS COLD office.
By the time I make it to my chair, I puff with a heaviness that would make you think I was double my size. JOE! I need my daily dose of Joe. Whenever I am at my most distressed, be it mentally or physically, I can always depend on my Joe- tall, dark, and rich just the way I like em’. I just wish it wasn’t so expensive to keep Joe around. In such high demand, everybody runs to Joe to solve their problems.
As I stood in line to get my daily fix of “Joe,” coffee that is, (winks, I know, I know…you thought…never mind) I always seem to fix my mind on the prices and if it’s worth my hard earned money every single morning. “Absolutely, yes,” I say out loud without realizing that the entire line heard me. They all turned and laughed in agreeance. Back at my desk I proceed to my normal schedule of reviewing emails and looking at my meetings I had for the day. Seems like every day at some point between breakfast and lunch hours, I forget to finish my coffee. The cheap skate in me refuses to waste a dime, therefore I proceed in rewarming the same cup at a record 5 times on average daily.
And yes, by the 5th cup it is just as flat and unsavory as you’d would think it’d be. I also seem to have to share my remaining ¼ cup with the gnats that come from God knows were. I am still puzzled how in the center of a five-story building, gnats can find my little ole’ stale cup of coffee. By the way, you can save me the science lesson spill, I already know, but I am just astounded by their persistence. Like, GO AWAY!!!!
It’s not that good anyway, neither is it worth putting your short lived “gnat life” in jeopardy! Because at some point, you will drown, and I will talk trash to you while you are floating in my pretty cup (yes, I am the Petty Queen), or the back side of my hand will be used for other things besides writing these corny articles every day. By 4pm, I usually take my cup to the kitchen to clean it out and every now and then I find one stubborn, hard-winged (get it? Not head because…never mind) gnat that somehow has figured out a way to find himself in a sticky situation that he didn’t have to be in. Don’t ask me why I created him to be a “he.” Charge it to the fact that it just felt right in the moment. Okay?!
Nonetheless, usually this freaks me out into paranoia that “he” could’ve had brothers and sisters that joined him and I swallowed them all down while engrossed with working. “God made dirt, dirt don’t hurt and if I die, you’ll know why!” I am embarrassed yet okay with the fact that old childhood colloquialisms are still used in my adult terminology.
Today, instead of my normal response, I had an “Aha” moment that proceeded with 15 minutes of self-reflection. You see, often times, like the fly, we gravitate towards the very things that are not for us be it relationships, jobs, career paths, new ventures, you name it! I mean it, and if you are anything like me, you go at it full throttle with vision boards, daily affirmations and consistent prayer telling God what you are going to do. God laughs at our “plans” by the way. Like the fly, we look for all the loop holes and strategize how to make things that aren’t for us, for us! And funny, yet relatable enough, many of us have the nerve to question God as to why we are having to jump through hoops to get it. I can imagine him working in over drive, probably looking like an extra from the Avengers trying to block us from certain things.
Surely enough, eventually after we have prayed, begged and did everything in our might to make it work, God eventually grants us that desire. They say in life you are either encountering blessings or lessons, and you can only imagine that when we go against his will that a lesson is right around the corner.
Now look at us, in the sticky coffee, drowning in a place that we may or may not have had the foresight to predict we would be in. And from my experiences, it’s usually not all that glamorous as we thought it’d be. The relationship ended up lacking luster. The house that we bought at a whim came with more issues than we imagined. The city that we moved to didn’t have the amazing paying jobs and glamorous men/women that everyone said it had.
When the path you are trying to take is not divinely written for you, you will know it and a lot of times it may come in the form of a “no.” However, “be ye not weary in well-doing.” Trust me on this one, what is meant to be, will be in the perfect time and season.
So let’s us all do ourselves a SOLID and be careful jumping into things that we KNOW will in fact hurt us, drown us and take us down a path that wasn’t meant for us to be in the first place…
…Because you know what they say, black girls can’t swim no way.**Kanye shrug